Taking care of an elderly parent is one of the most difficult tasks you could take on. First of all, it requires a lot of time and effort and it is physically draining. Secondly, it is an emotionally difficult task, since it changed the dynamic between a parent and a child.
This becomes even more troubling when you have young kids of your own. Kids thrive on stability and clearly set up boundaries. These become more difficult to maintain when you have an elderly parent to depend on you.
Set Up Reasonable Expectations
The first step is to set up reasonable expectations from yourself. Your life will get more complicated, messier and you won’t be able to achieve all that you plan to. It is simply the fact and you need to start preparing yourself for it.
Secondly, the same needs to be asked from the rest of your family. They need to know that you are going to be spread thin and that things might get missed. It is a difficult conversation to have, but it is best if you are open and honest about it and with yourself.
Dealing With A Crisis
Handling an elderly parent and a small child will simply be one health, emotional, or financial crisis after another. That is something you need to accept because there’s no way around it. There are also numerous techniques you could use to handle a stressful situation when it arises. Some are as simple as learning to breathe during one and others can be as complicated as making long term plans and lists of things to do when it happens.
Preparation is the key to dealing with a crisis. If they require you to take trips to the hospital or to otherwise be on the move, it is useful to have a “go bag” at your disposal at all times. Take the effort to keep it ready and to refill the supplies in when needed.
Ask For Help
One of the things that should be the simplest in these situations often turns out to be the most difficult. Many find it hard to ask for help in these situations even though they obviously could benefit from it. One of the ways to go is to ask your friends and family members to pitch in.
Professional help also can mean a lot. Asking for professional aged care training could mean a lot and could teach you something you couldn’t get from a word of mouth advice.
Everyone Needs To Pitch In
This may seem obvious, but there are those who are always overlooked in these plans. Parents forget that the kids should and could do their part during this difficult time. When you are making plans and deciding on what needs to be done, kids should be involved, and they should know what their part.
Obviously, the scale and the difficulty of their part depend on their age and ability. You should never overburden them because you are overburdened. However, it is useful and healthy for the kids to feel like they are helping out as well.
Me Time
Regardless of how many tasks need to be done, it is essential that you carve out some me time no matter what. This will help you handle the more difficult parts of this difficult job. It is up to you to figure out what me time means for you and how you want to use it.
Taking care of yourself in terms of your health and diet is one of the most important things you could do, during me time. Taking out 20 minutes a day to exercise and be with your thoughts may seem like a small step, but it really helps.
Friends
It is easy to lose touch with your friends during a stressful time. Being socially isolated during it could make things even more difficult. Simply put, you will need to make an effort for this not to happen.
Let your friends know that taking care of your kids and your parents is taking a toll on you and work your schedules out. This is not only so they can provide a helping hand (although they might) but so that you could maintain your other relationship in the process.
Care For Your Kids And Parents Without Sacrificing Your Health And Career
Taking care of an aging parent is one of the most exhausting things you could do. Sometimes a therapist or counselor can help give practice advice on how to manage both caring for them and your own career. It is not made easier by having a kid that needs your attention as well. It will require you to set up new expectations for your family life and to adapt to it.
Your child should be involved in the decision making and they should pitch in as much as they can. At the same time, it is important to leave some free time for your friends and in the end, for yourself. The only way to take care of everyone is to look after your health and diet to make sure you are well enough to do it.
I hope you enjoyed this blog post about how to take care of both your kids and an elderly parent without sacrificing health or career.
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