How To Improve Intimacy In Couples

how to improve intercourse

As Julian Moore quipped eloquently in The Big Lebowski, "Sex can be a natural, zesty enterprise." If anything, the idea that intercourse is supposed to be fun makes whatever enjoyment you personally feel seem suspect. 

Heightened expectations in the bedroom often lead to frustration and failure. For those wondering how to make sex feel better and more fulfilling, the answer is often less dedicated effort. 

Everything that is fun gets to be less so once it feels like a chore or a job. Especially intimacy, since thinking of it as work either leads to worrisome conversations about boudoir work or needlessly painful diatribes about procreation. 

Avoid those awkward sexual conversations in and outside of the bedroom by engaging in the following: 

Get the Basics Right 

Plenty of techniques and articles have been constructed around the roadblocks to sex: anxiety, body image, and allergies. 

You know what not to do, what you want to know is what else to do. 

As a final note, consider your frequency of intercourse. Studies into frequency indicate that 50-56 times a year is adequate with more providing diminishing returns and less leaving couples feeling frustrated. 


Going into each event, it is easy to place it along a line of metrics. Don't. Don't' compare this round to the last round or the dozens before. This type of one-upping mentality leaves you frustrated. 

Enjoy the time you have and enjoy it for its own sake. You can circle back and debrief after to plan for the next time. 

Look at sex as an adventure, a surprise, and a treat. Valuing the idea of the experience upgrades the experience. 


The first thing many couples attempt to create better sex is a range of positions. 

This works well when the positions are comfortable. Comfort is the final word in what makes good sex. 

Sex is a vibrant, physical activity. Don't try to be excited and sexual at the end of a night when you're exhausted from other activities. Ramp up with some warm-ups and hit it as the entertainment, not an after-hours cooldown. 

Objects (Toys, Tools, Tolerance) 

Technology has enhanced so many other aspects of life (in moderation) and it can do the same in the boudoir. 

Research a prospective candidate, learn all about what it is, and then make a smart purchase at some adult stores online or near you. 

Waiting for a package to arrive adds a thrill to the intervening days and you can have an unwrapping party. A new toy adds that mystery and exploration of a new encounter to even the most practiced of relationships. 


Toys aren't the only technology game in town. Lubes, creams, edibles, and pharmaceuticals all exist to decrease issues and enhances aspects of the act. 

Comfort remains the final word. Products should make events easier. Know what you are trying and be confident with a product's use to avoid jitters and surprises. 

How to Make Sex Feel Better Without Trying So Hard 

Being sexy and feeling sexy is much less about the physical form and more how well it fits. Being in the moment is important for how to make sex feel better. 

Feel confident and exude that confidence to yourself and your partner. Be okay with the less great sex and that will make the good sex great. Intimacy is important for all relationships and even casual fun!

For more articles on love and sex, dating for business professionals, and everything between, keep reading our blog.

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